In the beginning there was nothing. Nothing spent many aeons doing nothing. There wasn’t even the colour black, as that would almost certainly be something. However there was almost certainly, nothing, not a thing. One day nothing (the first day to be exact), exploded, for no reason, creating time and the universe, in fact it made everything. To begin with, all that was made were these tiny bits of stuff, that considering came from nothing, were pretty awesome and complex, as they could evolve and join with one another creating a whole multitude of other things that could also join with each other to make other things..
So then everything rearranged itself, for no reason, creating perfect objects that consisted of all the materials that happened to be made, because I guess there wasn’t much else to do. Giant balls of fire that relied on an internal fuel source to burn, with a brilliant light, that is so bright, you could see it from really, really, really, really really far away. Once they had used up all their fuel, they would explode in most the exact same way that nothing did, creating a giant pink cloud that’s filled with all the stuff that it was made of. This stuff would spend ages clumping itself together again, eventually to form brand new, giant balls of fire and other interesting perfectly round objects.
The massive bright balls, were so huge in size, they would sink into the universe, warping it, so that if anything was close to it, they would roll in to it, and in some cases, these smaller objects would stick, and fly around the giant fire balls in perfect circles. These smaller objects, depending on how close they are to the ball of fire, would start having their own small bits on them join together, and they’d start to self replicate, until one day they turn in to pools of snot.
The snot spend a few more years not really doing anything interesting, until one day for no reason whatsoever, one of the pools of snot eats the other, interestingly enough using a tooth its had since it’s birth, that by having all the other pools of snot would freak out by how weird it was. The tooth happened to come from nowhere, (nowhere is a good friend of nothing, they actually go way back). More and more freaks were born, and they continued to use their freaky tooth to get rid of the other pools of snot, that didn’t have teeth. This went on for a few more million years until the snot that didn’t have any teeth, no longer existed.
For no reason whatsoever, new snout started making an even newer type of snot that could see all the other bits of snot, because it had an eye. Millions of years past again with so many freaky babies, each one being that bit more freaky looking. Eventually the pools of snot and their freaky babies turned into these giant killer lizards, which just as they started enjoying themselves, for no reason, get wiped out by a giant piece of the exact same stuff that the lizards were made out of, just arranged differently so it looked different. The ball of fires warping of the universe made the rock roll directly into the giant lizards ball of stuff. Everything on the green ball turned black, even the sky, causing everything to get really cold as all the smoke blotted out the ball of fires heat.
Then a few more years pass, the sky clears and these guys show up. They can grow inside each other and have a thing for shiny objects, they also like nothing better than to fight over really strange things and even go as far to kill one another for control of space where they can build hunts out of mud. Thousands of years pass with these creatures killing each other and making new and much more interesting looking huts. Some things have changed though, their no longer all that interested in shiny things, instead they now kill each other over the control of this black gloop, That’s oddly enough, made from the giant killer lizards?!