Beauty is a spell, to which all of us have fallen victim. It can come in many forms, and thus, a lot can be said of this magic! Attraction! Ever since my first encounter with the female race, I have found these enchanting creatures fascinating. To which I have had the pleasure (and pain) to have been cast under their wicked spell. Since I could tie my own shoelace, from the very centre of my being, I have and continue to crave the gaze of such blessed beauties. Nevertheless, I fear this gaze more than anything I have ever encountered. Intimidation wrapped up in an overwhelming fear of ultimate rejection! I long for beautiful girls to find me attractive,  yet the more I have come to objectively study them, the more I have come to realise the depth of their needs. Many would disagree with me on this, and I welcome comments on the matter. However, the needs of the beautiful, has put a strain on men and women alike. Inflicting us with insecurities and doubts about our own physical appeal. Rest assured there is a constant, a craft that requires much investment. Every man should heed it’s power, if one wishes to be considered truly attractive.

Strength does not come from physical capacity. It comes from an indomitable will.
Mahatma Gandhi

Women have two types of attraction when seeking a partner. One of these comes from a core basic need, the other, comes from the need to nurture. between the ages of 17 and 25 I found that a vast amount of older ladies seemed to find me attractive. At 19 I had a girlfriend that was 31. This all seemed to me to be perfectly normal, as back then I didn’t really think too much about such things, blinded by an overwhelmingly strong ego. As I have aged, I’ve found that I am objectifying myself more and more, and the many needs of others. Trying to make sure that the people in my life are happy, and that I too, am happy, certainly appears my main goal when negotiating this world (the later actually being the top priority). So why are cute youthful looking men so attractive to (some) women. It really doesn’t take much to realise that the reason they are attracted to these chaps, they remind them of children, the exact same can be said for small dogs and cats. Many a female friend and family member, have found themselves with such fellows, and almost all such relationships have ended in heartache.

For me to stay healthy in a relationship, the individuals have to nurture themselves.
Anne Heche

There are men that seek out nurturing personality traits from their sexual partners, and quite fittingly, as I explained in the paragraph above, there are those women that will quite happily step up to this mother-like role. This of course can sometimes work. Often I have met business professionals that, when with their partner, behave like children, and there partners behave like mothers, how ever chilled I am by this sight, they all have one thing in common; they don’t have any children. Almost all have a vast collection of fluffy house pets, but no kids. I find this absolutely fascinating. Nevertheless, this quest of nurturing and being nurtured can, it seems more often than not, end in tears. A good friend of mine, that lost his mother at an early age, had been with another friend of mine, for many, many years. He used to be able to get away with murder, out drinking with his pals all night (I was one of these revolting culprits), back home at 6am, courtesy of his kebab compass. His girlfriend, that later became his wife, not once gave him the slightest bit of grief.  His tea would always be ready when he got home from work, he never cleaned the house, and she never complained. Many men dream of such a life, however this freedom would be their relationships undoing. She became pregnant. As soon as the baby was born, my female friend immeasurably stepped up to the mark, and became the mother she was born to be, only she now neglected her other child, her darling husband. Feeling the neglect and straining demands of a child, my male friend ran away, ironically feeling abandoned and taking his jealous pride, of his own child with him, as not all men are meant to be fathers.

Only the insecure strive for security.
Wayne Dyer

The second most attractive concept for any woman, has a great many guises. Men over the vast aeons of time, have tried and failed in achieving this trait. “A man that dresses smart must be successful!” Successfulness means that he has everything, and can give a secure life. A man that has large muscles, is physically strong, has great genes, and will protect you from all the evils of the world. A man that is smart that can solve problems, and can keep you safe with his cunning intellect. Men indeed are, more often than not, fools. They almost always think that women are shallow creatures, just as women do men. Every human being is blessed, we are such complex creatures that, by default, automatically crave that of what we need as individuals, or feel compelled to do. Being aware of such desires can certainly help when choosing the perfect partner. I urge everyone to be subjective, the most common cause of heartache is your own emotional confusion.