It was late, far too late for a school night, February. I found myself wide awake, transfixed at the television, waiting. Fighting back my heavy eyelids, I continued to wait, popcorn at the ready. The Oscars this year were as always, an over the top, glitzy affair. All the stars were out, posed in their designer cuts of silk and cotton, over priced jewels and trained catlike walks. Living in the UK, and having a healthy appetite for the silver screen, I found myself tuning in at around 1am to watch this, global extravaganza! A few months prior, you would have caught me in great anticipation, of said event.
Eddie Murphy was going to be the host! I am a great fan of Raw, Murphy’s masterpiece stand up comedy which, if you have never had the pleasure to watch, you most certainly should. The news that followed shortly after, what seemed like a merer mater of weeks, Murphy was not going to be hosting the show! I deemed this news as a vast disappointment. The veteran host, Billy Crystal filled in the empty slot, and as I sat there waiting for the show to begin, and for him to sing a silly song, the usual comedic introduction began. It showed Billy, in a whole array of different situations relating to the years films, I couldn’t believe my eyes. Not only were all the gags complete shite, but Billy’s face? It looked rather odd. Had he been hit by a bus? Then had his entire body reconstructed? Within moments it became clear, he, like a vast many of his glamorous colleagues, had succumb to the knife, and quite clearly, a blunt one.
Maturity is often more absurd than youth and very frequently is most unjust to youth.
Thomas A. Edison
Youth, all of us have had the pleasure, half of us now find ourselves longing for it. Some even let go, out of a subconscious choice, to raise families and run businesses, both environments unsuitable for the carefree attitudes of the young. A few don’t even realise it was even there, until it disappeared. Youth can not be bought, prolonged or channelled. Once it leaves you, it’s never going to come back. The power of youth is only ever really realised by those who know that they have it, or are about to lose it.
Re-constructive plastic surgery is performed to correct functional impairments caused by burns; traumatic injuries, such as facial bone fractures and breaks; congenital abnormalities, such as cleft palates or cleft lips; developmental abnormalities; infection and diseases such as cancer or tumours. Plastic surgery is usually performed to improve function, however in the later part of the twentieth century, it began to be used more and more to alter peoples appearance. Vanity, insecurity and pressure, and some more extreme cases, addiction are some of the main culprits, exercising boob jobs, face lifts, nose jobs, designer vaginas, all with one goal, to look younger.
Flattery is a kind of bad money, to which our vanity gives us currency.
Francois de La Rochefoucauld
It’s obvious that there is no other place on the earth that pressures you more to look beautiful than Hollywood. The town oozes with tack, flowing in a river of fake tan, air kisses and shoulder pads. The ostentatious houses, larger than life, the perfect hide and seek playgrounds that they are, I suspect, hardly see such joyful games. The world of the rich is a strange and shallow place. Seven wives later, she’s 26, he’s 56. We are of course all jealous of their money. Would we behave any different? I often ponder this thought; If I was a rich Hollywood producer, at a party, a young girl comes up to me and flirts, pulls out all of the moves her good mother taught her. I fall for it, we get married. Her tennis coach is 31, she has tennis training today and asks “baby, could you come watch?” surprisingly to myself, and her, I don’t have much on, so I say “sure”. Her tennis couch is fit, agile, and I am a stupid, jealous child, a fool for thinking a girl like her would find someone like me attractive. So I decide to go under the knife, the blade is cold and blunt, with bitter irony.