portrait by Morgan Penn
portrait by Morgan Penn

When I reflect on the utter shambles that was my secondary education, all that really tends to stand out was my trying desperately to win the affections of my flavor of the week, which almost always fell upon my Mathematics teacher Miss Cranswick. Rejecting my naive passes each and every single time, I am also reminded, with great fondness, of the various schemes and plans that were put in place in order to avoid that brute of flesh and pain, my nemesis Mr Green, the PE teacher. Having being somewhat of a selfish child my PE school report would almost always reflect that of my flair for individual events. Regrettably, it would also never fail to mention how profoundly useless I was at team outings, such as that dreaded and reared enemy of mine; a game that was designed to be played by gentlemen yet it has been monopolised by hooligans, egocentric primates and gym fairy’s. Yet, it is through refection of this mass of wanting hatred that I have in fact, come to realise that it is not the game that conjures up deep rooted feelings of sheer, unstoppable rage, but from those rather dull personalities; the players, fans and all other men that are deeply devoted to it. The game is of course football, and the men I speak are of are the self proclaimed “lads”, or as the rest of us with IQ’s higher than 150 like to call them, twats.

You can’t be a real country unless you have a beer and an airline. It helps if you have some kind of a football team, or some nuclear weapons, but at the very least you need a beer.
Frank Zappa

picked lastAfter further investigation I discovered that the reason behind my anger was firstly because I cant play the dam game and secondly, due to the teenage “kick about up the park” horrifyingly primal selection process, where if you’re unlucky enough to the dreaded last player to be picked, it leaves your young and soft tender mind filled with doubts to practically every aspect of your character. This rejection from my countries most celebrated game, did and continues to fuel my hatred for it, and begs me to ask the question; why would anyone want to be a part of something that ultimately has a history of rejecting them, forcing an assemblage of people to think that their natural behaviour is wrong, and some extreme cases complete evil? The case to which I am now referring to is no game, nor is the victims’ anger that that is generated ultimately, by jealously; it is that of wanting acceptance. Because like everyone on God’s celebrated green Earth, all that we want is to simply feel normal.

Nobody realises that some people expend tremendous energy merely to be normal. Albert Camus

The two angels arrived at Sodom in the evening, and Lot was sitting in the gateway of the city. When he saw them, he got up to meet them and bowed down with his face to the ground. “My lords,” he said, “please turn aside to your servant’s house. You can wash your feet and spend the night and then go on your way early in the morning.”

“No,” they answered, “we will spend the night in the square.”

lot fleeing sodomBut he insisted so strongly that they did go with him and entered his house. He prepared a meal for them, baking bread without yeast, and they ate. Before they had gone to bed, all the men from every part of the city of Sodom—both young and old—surrounded the house. They called to Lot, “Where are the men who came to you tonight? Bring them out to us so that we can have sex with them.”

man leavingShortly after those events in Sodom unfolded, God destroyed the city, purging it of all the wickedness that filled it. Later in this story there is also a reference to how Lot’s daughters rape their father, in order to keep their bloodline pure. Regardless of the ridiculousness that follows, this passage is the only mention of homosexuality in the Bible. It is pretty clear that it’s a negative story and that from a Christian perspective, homosexuals are considered wicked. Times have of course changed and now we are faced with a massive cultural shift and rather odd demand. Homosexual men and women wish to be married into a church that has since its very creation, over 2000 years ago, deemed them and only in the last 40 years I might add, have they changed their minds, some of them to be the work of the Devil, and that their sexual desires toward one another, spawned from a dark and evil plan, to wipe humanity from the face of the Earth! Why then, with civil partnerships already popular and as law binding as that of a marriage, would a gay couple wish to have their Earthy connection verified by a God that has had them wrong, for the last two millennial? If you’re reading this and happen to be gay and wish to be married by the bigots of these churches, please feel free to comment and explain to me why you would ever want to worship a God, that ultimately and completely, hates you. If gay marriage is ever allowed to be a part of the Christian tradition, surely that goes against their fact that Gods word is immutable? This would mean that he, the great creator and artist, that created from the universe a being, that can view itself subjectively, doesn’t even exist.